Engineer kaun hai???

ENGINEER WOH HAI JO AKSAR PHASTA HAI

INTERVIEWS KE SAWAAL MAE

BADI COMPANIYON KI CHAAL MAE

BOSS AUR CLIENT KE BAWAAL MAE



ENGINEER WOH HAI JO PAK GAYA HAI

MEETINGS KI JHELAI MAE

SUBMISSIONS KI GEHRAI MAE

TEAMWORK KI CHATAI MAE



ENGINEER WOH HAI JO LAGA RAHTA HAI

SCHEDULE KO FAILANE MAE

TARGETS KO KHISKAANE MAE

ROZ NAYE-NAYE BAHANE MAE



ENGINEER WOH HAI JO

LUNCH TIME MAE BREAKFAST KARTA HAI

DINNER TIME MAE LUNCH KARTA HAI

COMMUTATION KE WAQT SOYA KARTA HAI



ENGINEER WOH HAI JO PAGAL HAI

CHAI AUR SAMOSE KE PYAR MAE

CIGERATTE KE KHUMAR MAE

BIRDWATCHING KE VICHAR MAE



ENGINEER WOH HAI JO KHOYA HAI

REMINDERS KE JAWAAB MAE

NA MILNE WALE HISAAB MAE

BEHTAR BHAVISHYA KE KHWAAB MAE



ENGINEER WOH HAI JISE INTEZAAR HAI

WEEKEND NIGHT MANANE KA

BOSS KE CHHUTTI JAANE KA

INCREMENT KI KHABAR AANE KA

 

Military Warnings

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an

ambush."

- Infantry Journal


"Aim towards the Enemy."

- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher


"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."

- U.S. Army


"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are

guaranteed to always hit the ground."

- U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop


"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

- Infantry Journal


"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you

least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of

your unit."

- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

Read more...
 

Answering machine

A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" (Idiot! He's taking the phone and saying he's not there.)

 

To kill a lion!

   Cognizant Method:
   hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
   give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
   hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
   give them same gobi 65 to eat
   hire 200 more....... and more .......
   
   TCS method:
   
   hire a lion
   give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
   lion dies of hunger and frustration
   
   
   IBM's metbod:
   
   hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
   he dies of unemployment...
   
   Syntel Method:-
   
   Hire a Cat ...
   assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
   make sure that he never reaches onsite.
   Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
   
   MBT method:
   
   hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
   lion dies of the strain?
   
   i-Flex method:
   
   hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
   for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
   alive he will get band movement (promotion)
   holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
   
   COSL Method:
   
   hire a lion .
   tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
   lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
   
   Polaris Method :
   
   hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
   change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
   cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
   lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
   
   
   Patni method:
   
   hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
   the lion dies before joining....
   
   
   Wipro Method:
   Hire a Lion,
   give him a mail Id.
   he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!
   
   Accenture Method:
   
   Hire a lion....
   Send him to chennai
   Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
   Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
   No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
   No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
   And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
   Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
   
   HUAWEI Method:
   
   Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
   Give him work of 3 Lions
   Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
   No time for food and family, automatically die
   
    THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
   INFOSYS METHOD:
   HIRE A LION..
   SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
   ...................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE! J
   MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
   LION TURNS INTO CAT
   MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
   .........CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
   SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
     MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
   SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE!!!  

 

Smart Sardarji

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

 
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MyFunnyPost contains a large collection of funny jokes related to India or Indian subjects. These jokes are the ones that we experience in our day today lives that are funny. You will find a collection of Sardar jokes, Santa banta jokes, Laloo jokes, Bihari jokes, Munnabhai jokes, Bollywood, Indian cricket team, Police, Politician, Student, Doctor jokes, Lawyer, Military jokes, Office jokes etc. These jokes are not to offend anybody but are just for fun.

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