Once in America a plane crashed, only a monkey who was travelling in the plane was left alive.Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travellers doing?"

Monkey : "Tying their seat belts"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"

Monkey: "Saying Hello! and Morning Wishes!"

Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"

Monkey: "Checking the Flight system"

Officer: "What were you doing?"

Monkey: "Looking all these events"

TELEGRAM #1

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,

which the father receives as :"Father, your daughter has been successful

in BED."

One morning at a doctors surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor

examines

him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?"

The patient replies "You know that I work for a local

night club? This morning I got home to my apartment

early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I

knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony

door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did

not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I

saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I

Lufthansa Airlines

Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the

captain :"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have

lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the

ocean".

The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but

were

somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an

emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that

all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the

swimmers are on the right side of the plane after this announcement all

the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's

request.

Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The

captain once again made an announcement:

"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the

swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and

quickly swim away from the plane.

For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You For

Flying Lufthansa- ".

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession. A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.