A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says OK, and drives away.
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Cats in International Falls, Minnesota, are not allowed to chase dogs up telephone poles.
If your dog gets your neighbor's dog pregnant in Danbury, Connecticut, you are responsible and must pay for the abortion if the neighbor chooses to have it done.
No dog may be tied to a shade tree in Birmingham, Alabama.
An ordinance in Belvedere, California, states "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
Another misworded ordinance is this one from Arvada, Colorado: "If a stray pet is not claimed within 24 hours, the owner will be destroyed."
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited by statute in Barber, North Carolina.
In Sterling, Colorado, it is unlawful to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
Cats living in Cresskill, New Jersey, must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
A Fountain Inn, South Carolina, law once required horses to wear pants at all times. But carriage horses in Charleston, South Carolina, were required to wear diapers.
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In North Carolina, it is against the law to use elephants to plow cotton fields.
In New York City, one is forbidden from shooting rabbits from the back end of a Third Avenue streetcar when it is moving.
In Kansas, people cannot shoot rabbits while in a motorboat.
In Statesville, North Carolina, it is against the law to race rabbits in the streets.
In Tuscumbia, Alabama, no more than eight rabbits can reside on the same block.
A law in Detroit, Michigan, prohibits crocodiles from being tied to a fire hydrant.
Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, New York.
In Baltimore, Maryland, it is necessary to document any services performed by a jackass.
In Ohio, it is against the law to set a fire under your mule if it balks.
In Arkansas, if your 2-year-old mule runs wild and is unclaimed within 2 days, anyone may castrate the animal.
In Marshalltown, Iowa, a horse will be breaking the law if it eats a fire hydrant.
People can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog in Oklahoma.
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Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.
The black bear says, "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have sex."
He bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.
Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him.
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The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish.
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly.
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