The restaurant where I took my two kids for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television...
A harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return. I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar.
"Hey!" commented my youngest, "It sounds like someone just got their food!"
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A farmer took the camper off his truck before going to town.
As he was going down the road five Blondes were standing beside the road hitchhiking.
The farmer picked them up, one blonde got in the front and the other four blondes got in the back.
As they were going over the hill the brakes went out on the truck.
The farmer couldn’t stop the truck and they went into the pond at the bottom.
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Santa (tourists guide), was talking with a group of school kids at Zoo when one of the kids asked him if he had ever came face-to-face with a wolf.
"Yes, I came face to face with a wolf once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a weapon."
"What did you do?" the little girl asked.
"What could I do? First, I tried looking him straight in the eyes but he slowly came toward me. I moved back, but he kept coming nearer and nearer. I had to think fast."
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A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous. He offered that whoever gave the most would be able to pick three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed about the church, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had graciously offered a $1,000 bill.
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One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."
The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"
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