Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ?till I get there
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Q: Why did the nurse have a long pole and two rubber gloves?
A: Her way of not getting pregnant.
Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: If you aim it well enough.
Receptionist: 'Dr. Wynazonski is waiting for you.'
Patient: 'Which doctor?'
Receptionist: 'Oh, no, he's fully qualified.'
Student doctor: 'Please sir, there's some writing on this patient's foot.'
Famous surgeon: 'Ah, yes! That's a footnote.'
Patient: 'Doctor, how can I live to be a hundred?'
Doctor: 'Well, I suggest you give up eating rich food and going out with women.'
Patient: 'And then will I live to be a hundred?'
Doctor: 'No - but it will seem like it.'
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Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the pearly gates. St. Peter walks out and asks the first one, "What have you done to enter Heaven?"
"I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of the Lord's babies into the world."
"Good enough to enter the gates," replied St. Peter and in he goes. The same question is asked of the second doctor.
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The doctor took his patient into the room and said,
"I have some good news and some bad news."
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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
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