Man runs to the doctor and says, "doctor, you`ve got to help me...my wife thinks she`s a chicken!"
Doctor says, " how long has she had this condition?" |
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One day, Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.
"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.
"That woman I call my wife and I got into a fight," explained Santa, "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days." |
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One day Lord shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol. So he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Chandigarh and asked the bartender, "What all do you have".
Bartender, "We have whiskey, rum, vodka, gin, beer..."
Lord Shiva, "Let's try whiskey first, give me five bottles of whiskey."
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Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.
"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.
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A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.
After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.
After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could. |
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