The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name.
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A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers was concerned that her students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. She wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc.
So she asked her class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He`s in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He`s in my heart."
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The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.
The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest says, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this.
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A man was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.
"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk." |
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Santa was invited to his friend`s home for dinner. Banta, the host, preceded every request to his wife, Preeto, by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
Santa looked at Banta and remarked, "That is really nice. After all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names."
Banta hung his head and whispered, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name three years ago." |
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