Santa, Banta and one of their friends are patients in a mental institution and are preparing for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If they pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes them to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, our Santa, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later Santa came out of his house again,looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went.
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There was a man who had worked all his life, saved all his money, and was a real miser.
Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me, I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all his money in the casket with him.
Well he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony just before they were ready to close the casket the wife say, "Wait a minute!"
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Santa was flling up a application for a job. He promptly filled the columns captioned name, age, address, etc. Then he came to the column salary expected. He was not sure as what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: yes !
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CEO was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
Your wife called, she wants her sign back!
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