Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
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Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.
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DOS Air
All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etc.
MAC Airways
The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
OS/2 Skyways
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems.
Fly Windows NT
* All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
* Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
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PCMCIA
People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN
It Still Does Nothing
APPLE
Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI
System Can't See It
DOS
Defunct Operating System
BASIC
Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM
I Blame Microsoft
DEC
Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM
Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2
Obsolete Soon, Too
WWW
World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH
Most Applications Crash. If Not, The Operating System Hangs.
PENTIUM
Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
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Why Computers Must be Female Why Computers Must be Male Why Compilers Must be Female
1. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
2. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
4. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
5. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
6. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
1. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
4. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
5. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
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