There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?

"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Don't marry AIRTEL woman, they say TOUCH TOMORROW.

Don't marry BSNL woman they have CONNECTIONS ALL OVER INDIA

Don't marry HUTCH woman where ever u go THEIR NETWORK follows.

Don't marry IDEA woman, an IDEA CAN CHANGE your life

So marry RELIANCE woman because BUY ONE, GET ANOTHER FREE

SPECIAL NOTICE FROM Training Dept.

In order to assure the highest levels of education for our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in your Department, please come and see any one of the Trainers at once. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our Trainers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATION EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATION ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since all the Trainers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. Anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested or rather fit for a job as a Trainer or play a role advising other employees. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Singapore Airlines from

Singapore to New York. The son (who had been looking out the window)

turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby

cats,why don't planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the pretty

flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If

dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby

planes?"

The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The little boy admitted that she did. "Well, then, tell your mother that

there are no baby planes because Singapore Airlines always pulls out on

time.

Now, let your mother explain that to you."!!!