The Ten Commandments of DOS joke

I am thy DOS, thou shall have no OS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a cut of the profits therefrom.

Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, standalone operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network, multitask, or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a gross hack .

Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need that much space anyway.

Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After all, it's ten times what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K of RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or other things that might make thy computer useful.

Thou shall use the one true slash character to separate thy directory path. Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears on no typewriter keyboard, and is unfamiliar. Standardization on where that character is located on a computer keyboard is right out .

Pentium jokes

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.

Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
A: The warning label.

Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A: Successive approximations.

Another Windows Joke

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark.

After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor.

Windows Source Code joke

Some people have hacked into Microsoft and stolen their Windows XP code and here it is. I am sure that they would love any improvements for the next version. #include <windows.h> #include <system_errors.h> #include <stdlib.h> char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; main() { if (detect_cache()) disable_cache(); if (fast_cpu()) set_wait_states(lots);
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Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support joke

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?" * "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it." * "So -- what are you wearing?" * "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" * "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n." * "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
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