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Funny Jokes

Theft attempt

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Banta`s wife, Preeto was exceptionally fat due to hormonal imbalance. On one of Banta`s trip to attend a friend`s wedding, a thief broke in Banta`s house. However, the thief could not get lucky. He was caught by Banta`s wife, Preeto and was laid on the ground.

Hearing the shouts, their domestic help, Bahadur got up. Bahadur, being bahadur could not help much in holding the thief. She could not hold him for much long. Using her weight to her advantage, she sat on the thief.

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Santa Ferrari joke

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Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)
Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"

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Have incredible dogs joke

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Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog was better. His dog was named "Slide Rule". He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was good, but he felt his dog was better. His dog "Measure" was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem.

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Want a day off work? joke

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So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.
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Play the Office Game joke

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Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows:

ONE POINT

Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew.

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." - Double points if you do this to a manager.

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

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