Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died.

    Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.

    Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just asked on opinion or pre conceived notions.

    

    Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

    PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.

    Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND" and he too passes.

    It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA" .

    Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

    Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).

    PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes.
    
    Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

    Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ."
    Tough one. He fails again.

    Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history

    Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.

    PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence? ". He replied "1947" and passed.

    Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous.
    Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.
    Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

    It's Laloo's turn now.



    Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
    Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

    Moral of the story:

    IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE

HER DIARY:

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing.” I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

 

HIS DIARY:

Today India lost the cricket match against Bangladesh. DAMN IT.

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar
software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start signaling: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai wo
loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya ".



Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur
Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya
hai."



Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire
kiye
hain kya?"



Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal
raha
hai."



Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water
tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.



Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya
hai
ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bh! i nahin aate."



Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain,
Kuch
bhi kar sakte hain."



Jay hits some commands on his keyboard, then says: "jaao kaalia, Gabbar
se
kahna ki uska server down ho gaya ."



AT GABBAR'S DEN..

Gabbar: "Kitne virus thhye?"

Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen anitvirus . Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake?
Kya
soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? incentive dega , Salary
badayega?

Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi. (gabbar shouts ) "Sambaa laptop la
re".

"Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"


Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."


Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi
hai.[logout -
logout - logout]. Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga Kaalia?"


Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."



Gabbar: "To ab testing kar!"............ ....????? ?

In an interview a candidate was asked the question "Why We don't Have pointers in JAVA?" to which he replied like this:
"I married a widow who had a grown-up daughter. My father, who visited us quite often, fell in love with my step daughter and married Her. Hence, my father became my son-in-law, and my step-daughter became my mother. Some months later, my wife gave birth to a son, who became the brother in law of my father as well as my uncle. "
"The wife of my father, that is my step daughter, also had a son. Thereby, I got a brother and at the same time a grandson. My wife is my grandmother, since she is my mother's mother. Hence, I am my wife's husband and at the same time her step-grandson; in other words, I am My own grandfather. "
"I guess that's why we don't have pointers in Java..."