Interview joke

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication

engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had

never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an

admission into it.What happened is - due to cricket world cup I

scored badly in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college.

But my father said (Iprefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not

invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never

waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college.

Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most

be related to a Shetaki Mahavidyalaya he he he...

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete

your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But

you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis

tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate.. So I flunked in

2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2   7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I

will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These

cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban

it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be

banned.

Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never

thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year,

she was looking for a job for me in BEST(Bus corporation in

Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower'

education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms

have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my

current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my

platform then. As you can see I have experience of different

platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet

in German, French, Russian and many other languages he he he...

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a

higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with

a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the

language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the

times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd.

Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to

think that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word

and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International

phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know

few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality',

'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also

I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it

should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects

natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like

to wear t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wednesday off

also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short

term

(preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I

prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that

there is a world cup in West ! Indies in 2007,I don't mind going

there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have

many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our

organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before.